Kia Sorento Advert
It's become clear in recent years that professional chefs are some of the worst people on Earth. Yes, even worse than Rupert Murdoch, Piers Morgan and Louise Mensch. Yeah, I know. These people -...
View ArticleStart Baking, Ladies! Patronising Stork Advert
Yes, start baking ladies - and put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea. Here are five more patronising things you could probably imagine in exactly the same voice: Step away from that toolbox,...
View ArticleLloyds Bank 250th Anniversary Advert
Aren't banks great? They give you money and all sorts - and all they ask is that they are able to make money from the cash that we bank with them. It's almost utterly altruistic on their part. God...
View ArticleUncle Ben’s Dildo Rice
It goes without saying that this advert is hideous, with its Summer Nights stylings and anthropomorphism that makes grains of rice and quinoa love each other (a bit like this advert showing sausages in...
View ArticleFacebook Advert: Five Seconds To Hatred
It took me about five seconds. Five seconds of this hateful American voiceover, the by-now-requisite twinkling instrumental version of a familiar pop song, to hate this Facebook advert. Five seconds to...
View ArticleMcDonald’s Blind Date Advert
"Wait a minute... YOU like sugary, empty-calorie fast food, I like sugary empty-calories fast food! What better basis for a long-term relationship?". Or, failing that and very much reflecting Emma and...
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Adverts I Love: Trainline – I Am Train
I've recently recovered from a hacking, so to celebrate I thought I'd flag up an advert that has genuinely made me laugh out loud on two separate occasions this week - it's this #iamtrain spot for the...
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Travelodge Advert: That’s Trav-Illogical
Why would you stay in a Travelodge? I mean, seriously, why would you choose to stay in a Travelodge? These are the very few reasons I've stayed in A Travelodge: • There is nowhere else open • There is...
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Freeview Advert: ‘You Must Conform’
Well, this is interesting. I wonder how many people spat out their half-time lager/tea/laverbread during the England/Wales rugby world cup advert break - or choked on their acid during This Is England...
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Virgin Media Inspired Advert
Sometimes I wonder whether I should stop doing this blog. It takes up time that I don't have, it's increasingly out-of-kilter with my career and the idea of going out in a blaze of glory or just...
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John Lewis Advert 2015: Charities Aren’t Just For Christmas
Ah, #manonthemoon - the true meaning of Christmas. Vile emotional manipulation filtered through the prism of unfettered capitalism, masquerading as a kindly old spinner of yarns. If the festive period...
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Facebook Is Profiling You Through The Stuff You Hate
Every time I log onto Facebook I get a little bit angry. Not because (or not just because) of the Britain First posts or the endless baby pictures or the sheer amount of passive-aggression. Because I'm...
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Best And Worst Christmas Adverts 2015
There's nothing particularly complicated about making Christmas adverts - in fact it's easy. In the same way there only seven types of plot there are three types of Christmas advert. That's all. Every...
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Warburtons Muppets Advert
Fuck you, Warburtons. You bready, Tory-sponsoring, Muppet-shafting twats. The post Warburtons Muppets Advert appeared first on AdTurds.
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Show People You Care This Xmas – Don’t Buy Anything
I'm not a fruitcake. I don't live in a hovel and only come out to shake a fist at the rest of the world. I have never actually killed anyone involved in advertising, nor do I intend to. In most...
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Tesco Adverts: Something Must Be Done
Something must be done. AdTurds readers keep telling me. My wife has told me. I overhear strangers talking about it. And Bob Mortimer too. Everyone hates these adverts. The Tesco adverts. The ones...
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Perfume Adverts at Christmas
Christmas perfume adverts are a roll-call of vanity, emptiness, vacancy, preening self-regard, bad taste, sheer stupidity and a complete lack of self-awareness. They do perform one vital role though,...
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The Worst Adverts of 2015 : Vote
Here we go then. The worst adverts of 2015. If you're just here for the videos and want to give my usual Christmas Message Of Despair, skip the next 1,000 words... Some people I know who are teachers...
View Article#becauseitschristmas
It's Christmas - so burn the whole fucking planet! #becauseitschristmas The original: Our new advert celebrates what we love doing #becauseitschristmas Our new TV advert is out now – and it’s all about...
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2015 Advertising Keywords: Sick Inside
People lie about how the feel about things - the things they love and hate. The things they don't know or simply don't understand. The things they'd like to do with with their genitals - and to whom...
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